The University of Vermont Alumni Spotlight: Serene Meshel-Dillman ‘85

Written by Lisa Wartenberg Velez

Click HERE to read article

Andrew Flack’s mother, Suzy, continues his legacy advocating for medical aid in dying in Illinois as legislature considers law

Andrew’s mom, Suzy Flack co-wrote a Chicago Tribune OpEd with Nilsa Centeno, another mother whose son, Miguelito, died of cancer. They are advocating for upcoming medical aid in dying legislation in Illinois. A law neither of their sons was able to access. Miguelito suffered at the end of his life. He recorded videos in English and Spanish to urge fellow Latinos to support future MAID legislation. Conversely, rather than return to Illinois to be with his family, Andrew stayed in California to access the End of Life Option Act. His family flew to him months before he chose to end his suffering. They were able to spend quality time together and surround him with their love as he passed.

You can read their article here. (Sorry, it’s behind a paywall)

Illinois End of Life Options for Terminally Ill Patients Act

Ginger Fairchild (Matt’s widow) pens an opinion article for CNN

Opinion: Medical aiding dying was a blessing for my husband. But a federal law makes it inaccessible for millions of Americans.

Click here to watch her video and read the article.

An email…

Hi Serene, 

This is Irena, I'm Julia xxxxs' daughter. We were speaking with you two years ago, when we thought my mom was dying and she was going to use the end of life medication.

Well, she survived and lived (mostly) happily for another two years, but her cancer was advancing and she developed a pulmonary embolism. She decided to take the "last drink", as she called it, and passed peacefully last Friday. 

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your mom's story and video with us, It made my moms decision enormously easier and relieved her fear. She was steadfast in her wish to leave before the suffering began and went without pain or discomfort, surrounded by family. 

Several of her friends, who have been increasingly ill, have been asking me for more information and I have forwarded them your movie clip.

I hope your movie gets out into the world and educates everyone about this option. As hard as it is on the family to anticipate and watch a loved one die, the alternative–pain and suffering–is far worse.

I wish you much happiness, great health and unending success,

Irena

1 year after her death, Mimi’s husband, Jesse, reflects on her choice to utilize MAID

By Jesse Ankerholz

I have traveled thousands of miles across the U.S. sharing the story of my wife Andrea Ankerholz, who died on August 6, 2021. After exhausting all treatment options for the terminal cancer she lived with, she chose to utilize the Colorado End-of-Life Options Act and died peacefully at home surrounded by love. With the first anniversary of her death just passed, I cannot fathom what those final weeks would have looked like without this choice.

I met Andrea in 2010, on a job site in Denver. She worked at the salon next door, and after correcting the haircut another stylist botched, Andrea stole my number from the contact sheet and asked me out. She always knew what she wanted, and was never afraid to tell me how she felt; that was part of what made our marriage so loving and our bond so special.

In the summer of 2020, four years after a double mastectomy, Andrea found out her cancer was back and had spread. Her oncologist gave her six to 12 months. She agreed to treatment that could give us a bit more time together, which she endured with grueling side effects.

Andrea feared spending her last days in a hospital. A few months into treatment, Andrea researched her end-of-life options, and she learned about medical aid in dying. She wanted to pursue the option, and I supported her as she told her doctors and loved ones.

The Colorado End-of-Life Options Act allows terminally ill adults the opportunity to, following a lengthy process, request a prescription they may take to end their suffering peacefully. This medical practice is authorized in Colorado, alongside nine states and the District of Columbia. Sadly, Andrea discovered that even with policy in place, patients may struggle to access care.

In early 2021, both of Andrea’s doctors, who previously agreed to write her prescription, suddenly changed their minds with no explanation. This decision was devastating and especially cruel for a person so close to the end. Now fearful of prolonged suffering, she tried to focus on saying her goodbyes, enjoying her last days and choosing mementos to leave loved ones.

Andrea was overwhelmed by fear and frustration until she connected with a representative from the End of Life Options Consultation program at Compassion & Choices, a national end-of-life options nonprofit. They compiled a list of providers in Colorado for Andrea to contact, and she found a physician at Denver Health to support her. As soon as she got the medication, Andrea felt incredible relief. That relief allowed her to focus on enjoying the life she had left.

When August came, Andrea knew it was time.

Though the mosquitoes made our yard uncomfortable, Andrea wanted to watch the sunset together on her last day. I happily endured the bites to watch the sun go down from our rocking swing. Andrea ingested her medication at 9:30 p.m. on August 5th, and was asleep within a couple of minutes. She passed away four hours later at 1:30 a.m. on August 6th, 2021.

Soon, I embarked on a 17-day road trip across the U.S. to deliver the mementos Andrea left behind, and spread some of her ashes — just as I promised. Since the day she died, I have shared Andrea’s story with anyone who will listen. I want other people to know their options, be direct with their doctors and talk to their loved ones about their wishes.

In just a few months I will be in Loch Skeen, Scotland — a location Andrea dreamed of visiting — where I will hike an hour into the sky, bringing her with me.

I miss Andrea every day but am so proud of the way she lived her life and the vulnerability she shared before her death. Having control over her last days made all the difference to Andrea. Everyone deserves not just this option, but clear information and quality care that honors their life.

Jesse Ankerholz is a business owner living in Silverthorne, Colorado. 

“One Last Trip” by Marisa Gerber

Medical Aid in Dying is a subject getting a lot of press these days. Published this week in the LA Times, this article is a beautiful explanation of one woman’s story and her choice to use medical aid in dying to end her life on her own terms. Read article here.

Survivor’s Checklist

Mimi’s husband, Jesse, sent me this “survivor’s checklist” that he put together for when Mimi passed. In the aftermath of Mimi’s death, this list became a necessity as he navigated the sadness and grief of his new life.

Jesse has since shared the list with others who have appreciated the guidance for “things that need to get done” in the wake of a loved one’s passing.

I am posting here in the hopes that it will help you or someone you know. Feel free to advise me of any additional points you think should be included. Thanks.

• Decide what the funeral arrangements are going to entail. Cremation or burial? Will a ceremony, viewing or celebration of life be held?

• Source out those services along with cost.

• Request a few certified copies of the death certificate. (A digital copy will be accepted by most places.)  You will need these going forward to prove the time and cause of death to various entities.

• Notify the credit bureaus of the passing of the person. A certified copy of the death certificate will need to be provided. Make sure to have them mark the account as deceased and freeze all future credit requests.  This will need to be done over the phone and online. Request a copy of all three credit reports ASAP.  These will be used to determine what debts a person still owes at time of passing and or any debts/ collections they may have had. All open credit cards will also be listed and those cards will need to be closed.

• Notify Social Security Administration. A certified copy of the death certificate will need to be provided. Make sure to have them mark the account as deceased and stop issuing benefits.  This will need to be done over the phone and online.

• Notify all government assistance entities the person may have been receiving money from or would soon be eligible to receive assistance from of the death. (Federal aid, unemployment, state assistance, disability, snap or other food assistance programs). A certified copy of the death certificate will need to be provided. Make sure to have them mark the account as close/deceased so no additional benefits are issued. This will need to be done over the phone and online. Under no circumstances do you or anyone else touch any money or benefits that are either deposited into the person's bank account or provided on a card after the date of passing.  You will be held responsible for the repayment of those benefits.

• Using the credit reports, assess what debts and or collections belong to the person who passed. A certified copy of the death certificate will need to be provided to every creditor and/or collections department. This will need to be done over the phone and online.

• Check the individual’s state laws for information on community property. For Colorado residents, Colorado is not a community property state. This means that upon the death of a person, any debts are non-transferable unless another person was a cosigner on the account.

• Calculate an asset assessment. (House, car, investments, bank accounts, etc.)  Make a list of anything that could have a perceived monetary value.  (Personal or sentimental items do not usually fall into this category.) If the person did not have a will, those assets will likely end up in probate court and be used to pay the deceased person’s debts or collections.  If the person had no assets, any debts will be written off by the creditors.

• Under no circumstances should any money be withdrawn from bank accounts or investments after the person’s date of passing.

• If in doubt contact a probate lawyer for assistance.

• Carry out the will/trust/final wishes of the deceased. If you are the executor, you will need to follow the will/trust directives. In the event that no will exists, divide any personal items between family and friends to the best of your ability.

Opinion: Medical aid in dying should not be proscribed by society’s laws or condemned by its mores

Great article by George F. Will about Kim Hoffman’s fight to use medical aid in dying in Connecticut. Click HERE to read.

Andy

Andy left LA this morning after a whirlwind week of interviews for the documentary, dinners out, picnics at the beach, thrifting, meeting new friends and several trips to MedMen. What I learned from Andy: She is sweet. She wants to help others who will follow in her footsteps with metastatic breast cancer. She loves her dog, Dash, but especially misses her dog, Dink. She wants to host a podcast again. She likes to sleep. She likes to dance. She likes to show off her tattooed nipples. (They look incredibly real.) She calls bullshit when she hears it. She is quick to laugh. You can follow her blog (mydeafeningdiagnosis.blogspot.com) or on Instagram and ask her anything! (@JustAskwithAndySealy.) She is an open book which made shooting her easy. I will miss her straightforward approach to life. Come back soon.

Supporter Spotlight

Compassion & Choices Newsletter highlighting “Take Me Out Feet First”

https://compassionandchoices.org/news/supporter-spotlight-serene-meshel-dillman

Day 5 - Allyne

Allyne is a force of nature. At age 80 she is salsa dancing, driving a sexy BMW convertible around Santa Cruz and is a vocal advocate for medical aid in dying (among other causes dear to her heart.) It was hard not to fall in love with her zest for life, her love of flamingos and her home’s rainbow decor theme. The homeopathic regime she has been on for the last 12 years has kept her lymphoma and brain tumor at bay. Allyne lives every day to its fullest. She posts on Facebook daily so you can friend and follow her flamingos and rainbows there. She’d love to hear from you.

Day 4 - Matt

Matt and Ginger live in a home filled with cats, cat photos, cat beds, cat blankets, cat scratchers and cat toys. One of their four cats keeps an eye on Matt at all times. She watches him fold laundry, organize his cooler filled with meds and keeps him company until Ginger returns from work. Matt has difficultly going out so we filmed him on their front porch. Ginger sat on his lap at the end of our discussion and they shared a kiss before she had to leave for work. Their long marriage is strong despite the fact that for half of their time together, Matt has lived with debilitating cancer.

Day 3 - Mimi

I found Mimi at the home she and Jessie built on a dirt road, high in the Colorado mountains. We got a couple of beautiful sunny, mosquito filled days. I sat and talked with Mimi in her make-shift bedroom, a former sewing room where she made hats and scarves for needy strangers. A funny, emotional, loving and smart lady whose charms made the hours fly. The wind chimes that appeared at my door days after her passing, will always make me pause, smile and think of her.

Day 2 - Lee

A walk in the sun to a crossroads in Glouster, MA where Lee Marshall and Paul Cary Goldberg locked arms and danced in the street as passing cars honked their hellos.

Lee and Paul

Day 1- Roger

We spent the day with Dr. Kligler as he trudged through a full day of scans, blood draws and “staging” at Dana Farber Cancer Institute in Boston, MA. He explained all of the procedures, medications and prognosis with patience and humor. Roger’s hope is that MAID passes into law this year so that those who follow a similar path, may benefit from his advocacy.