1 year after her death, Mimi’s husband, Jesse, reflects on her choice to utilize MAID
By Jesse Ankerholz
I have traveled thousands of miles across the U.S. sharing the story of my wife Andrea Ankerholz, who died on August 6, 2021. After exhausting all treatment options for the terminal cancer she lived with, she chose to utilize the Colorado End-of-Life Options Act and died peacefully at home surrounded by love. With the first anniversary of her death just passed, I cannot fathom what those final weeks would have looked like without this choice.
I met Andrea in 2010, on a job site in Denver. She worked at the salon next door, and after correcting the haircut another stylist botched, Andrea stole my number from the contact sheet and asked me out. She always knew what she wanted, and was never afraid to tell me how she felt; that was part of what made our marriage so loving and our bond so special.
In the summer of 2020, four years after a double mastectomy, Andrea found out her cancer was back and had spread. Her oncologist gave her six to 12 months. She agreed to treatment that could give us a bit more time together, which she endured with grueling side effects.
Andrea feared spending her last days in a hospital. A few months into treatment, Andrea researched her end-of-life options, and she learned about medical aid in dying. She wanted to pursue the option, and I supported her as she told her doctors and loved ones.
The Colorado End-of-Life Options Act allows terminally ill adults the opportunity to, following a lengthy process, request a prescription they may take to end their suffering peacefully. This medical practice is authorized in Colorado, alongside nine states and the District of Columbia. Sadly, Andrea discovered that even with policy in place, patients may struggle to access care.
In early 2021, both of Andrea’s doctors, who previously agreed to write her prescription, suddenly changed their minds with no explanation. This decision was devastating and especially cruel for a person so close to the end. Now fearful of prolonged suffering, she tried to focus on saying her goodbyes, enjoying her last days and choosing mementos to leave loved ones.
Andrea was overwhelmed by fear and frustration until she connected with a representative from the End of Life Options Consultation program at Compassion & Choices, a national end-of-life options nonprofit. They compiled a list of providers in Colorado for Andrea to contact, and she found a physician at Denver Health to support her. As soon as she got the medication, Andrea felt incredible relief. That relief allowed her to focus on enjoying the life she had left.
When August came, Andrea knew it was time.
Though the mosquitoes made our yard uncomfortable, Andrea wanted to watch the sunset together on her last day. I happily endured the bites to watch the sun go down from our rocking swing. Andrea ingested her medication at 9:30 p.m. on August 5th, and was asleep within a couple of minutes. She passed away four hours later at 1:30 a.m. on August 6th, 2021.
Soon, I embarked on a 17-day road trip across the U.S. to deliver the mementos Andrea left behind, and spread some of her ashes — just as I promised. Since the day she died, I have shared Andrea’s story with anyone who will listen. I want other people to know their options, be direct with their doctors and talk to their loved ones about their wishes.
In just a few months I will be in Loch Skeen, Scotland — a location Andrea dreamed of visiting — where I will hike an hour into the sky, bringing her with me.
I miss Andrea every day but am so proud of the way she lived her life and the vulnerability she shared before her death. Having control over her last days made all the difference to Andrea. Everyone deserves not just this option, but clear information and quality care that honors their life.
Jesse Ankerholz is a business owner living in Silverthorne, Colorado.